Network Marketing Training – Personal Empowerment – Social Media Marketing – Authentic-Networker.com|Keith O'Brien

To Feel or Not To Feel. That Is The Question.

Posted on 19. Dec, 2009 by admin in Expand Your Mind, Personal Empowerment

Something strange has happened to me recently.  I started feeling stuff.

I started feeling stuff that I didn’t know was there.

You see…it was about 14 months ago that I got divorced from my wife of 6 years.  By divorce standards it was rather simple and over quickly.  We agreed on things and got it done.

It’s not really necessary for me to go into what happened that caused our divorce because it is always cumulative to some degree.  What happened isn’t nearly as important as how I felt about what happened.

I was obviously angry – really, really angry and hurt.  My family was being turned upside down, but tried to balance it all and not get caught up in all of the emotion as I didn’t think it would serve me well.

I processed a lot, but that was more intellectual than emotional.

I am not sure if it is due to the holidays or what, but for the first time since my divorce, I am experiencing sadness.

It just sort of hit me one day.

It’s been a bit painful.

I am in a coaching program that has a mastermind group and we got onto this conversation the other day about feeling our feelings, shifting off of them, learning our lessons and our perception of it all.

Here is my take.

You have to feel.  You have to give yourself the space to connect with what is going on for you.  Feel it…and feel it fully.

For me, I want to embrace all of my emotions and not stuff or deny any of them.  If I am sad, I get to feel sadness.

If I am angry, I get to feel anger.  If I am joyous, I get to feel joy.

In my experience, denying the emotion does not get rid of it; it just tucks it away to resurface later. By the contrast, the times when I really let myself feel however I am feeling fully…I often get to the other side of it.

When I went through my divorce, I never felt sad.  I am not sure I needed to at the moment, but I certainly never let myself feel it.  I just got pissed and moved on.

So often we seek to deny our emotions and get back to “our priorities and things that really matter.”  I believe that there are times when feeling our emotions fully is what matters most.

I have so spent much time in personal development programs that talk about “shifting” so you aren’t feeling anything that isn’t productive.  “Shift,” “Get over it,” “Get off of it.”

Sound familiar?

Feeling an emotion fully is the only thing I have ever experienced that has allowed me to be done with it.

I mean, really done with it.

If we go back to my divorce, let’s face it.  My family broke up…that is fricken sad.  I never felt it…I buried it in anger.  It came back and it paralyzed me.

So feel people feel!

Don’t judge your emotion or why you are feeling it.  Just know that’s what you are supposed to be experiencing.  Feel it fully so you can see clearly from the other side.

Then, once you have given yourself that gift, start looking at how you can frame the experience for your greatest learning and value.

Choose a world-view that empowers you.  Choose to see what value you have brought into your life through this experience.

Feel it fully.  Let it go.  Embrace the learning.

Please comment and share your thoughts and feel free to send this to anyone you “feel” would benefit.