Health is timeless.

Check out the 8 Principles of Health as outlined by ForeverGreen’s CEO, Ron Williams.

It just makes sense.

Click here to view the embedded video.

So what’s the part time job of choice for the average American?

Is it retail?  No.

Is it fast food?  No.

Is it telemarketing?  No.

Is it the home business industry?  Unfortunately, no!

So, what is this industry that is getting so much attention from people?  In the midst of some of the most challenging economic times of the last few generations…where are people placing their focus?

TV.

You mean, like trying to become actors, producers or work behind the scenes?

No…I mean like WATCHING it.

The average American now spends 5.1 hours per day in front of the tube.

5.1 hours!!!

To put that in perspective, that is nearly 1 full week a month.

Or, if you take the average lifespan of 78…that means the average peep will spend almost 17 years of their life watching TV.

Let that sink in a bit.

17 years.

And people complain that they don’t have enough time, money & freedom.  I find this statistic horribly bothersome for so many reasons.

Now, before I start in let me say that I enjoy TV here and there, although it’s on my “Do Less Of” list for 2011.  I find some shows entertaining, however I am clear what TV is for me…a pure, mindless escape (I am working on that one).  Herein lies the problem.

So what is this new part time job really doing to us?  It has more impact than we think.

1. Entertainment Has To Be Mindless – this is a horrific trend in America.  Entertainment used to stimulate the senses, make people really think and in the best of cases, educate.  How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t want to think!  I just want to sit and veg out in front of the TV!”?

Since when did “thinking” become a life occupational hazard?  Of course TV has made what used to happen in theaters more convenient…but have we incubated ourselves from the real, human social interaction that we all crave?

2. Lack Programming – let me say that there are definitely some channels and TV programs that have intellectual benefit, however, the vast majority don’t.  It’s easy to say that it’s just entertainment, however, our thinking and choices are run by our subconscious programming and we simply can’t ignore the power of TV to influence our subconscious.

Most shows depict people in some level of victim mentality, poverty consciousness, powerless to change, playing small, violence, negative portrayal of women…it goes on and on.

Much of these messages are not obvious…they are subtle.  They slip in the back door and are often so quiet…you don’t even know they are there.

You just can’t constantly feed your mind messages of lack and limitation and expect to live free and fulfilled.

3. Playing Small - Alright, now this is certainly not the case ALL the time…but for many, TV becomes a way to not do nothing.  A lot like the “mindless entertainment” point above…TV distracts.  For many people, this is the point of TV.  It’s certainly easier to watch someone else live out their dreams then it is to manifest your own.

What about you?  What do you use TV for?

Has it become a crutch, an escape, a distraction from what’s important in your world?

And if so, how much time are you giving your addiction?

17 years of TV.

To put that in another context, there are many Countries in Africa where the average lifespan is only 38, 39 or 40 years.

The AVERAGE American will watch TV half that much in their lifetime.

Does that seem right to you?

I think we need a new part-time job.

Check out the static…look familiar?

Click here to view the embedded video.

What a great example of the world responding to BOLDNESS and ACTION.

Enjoy.

Keenan is awesome.  He has over 20 million views on some of his videos!

Do I sound like I am a Facebook fan?

Here are the quick facts (as of June 2010)…

• Over 400 million users (massive reach)
• Half of all users log in every day (consistent exposure)
• Average user has 130 friends (word of mouth, viral)
• Over 500 billion minutes a month logged (loyalty to platform)

As with every great invention, some people choose to use it properly and professionally while others misuse it entirely.  But you know what they say about money…it just makes you more of what you already are.  This is true about Facebook marketing as well.

If you were a spamming, inauthentic, disgusting marketing jackass before…well, Facebook can help you propel yourself to become a intergalactic marketing jackass.   Everyone learns essential ingredients for authentic living like integrity, character and value in their own time.

When a platform like Facebook is developed…both leaders and scavengers will emerge.  Fortunately, if you know what to look for, scavengers are easy to find.  Our new world of social media is wonderfully transparent and all you have to do is sniff around for value first marketing.  You’ll rarely find scavengers lurking in those circles.

Okay, let’s get onto the list of ways to leverage the power of Facebook.

1. Be Real – I know this sounds simple, but if everyone was authentic 100% of the time, the world would be a very difference place.   Most people, whether they know it or not, long for substance – in people, businesses and experiences.  Don’t ever try to be something you are not. This doesn’t fool anyone and will weaken your brand over time rather than strengthen it.

If you are brand new to online marketing, don’t say you are an internet marketing coach or expert.  It would be better to say that you are an Expert Resource…because you will simply be providing people with other people’s knowledge.  Always put your best foot forward, but just make sure it’s your own foot.

2. Lead With Value – I am putting this one here up front because this strategy, along with #1, is the basis to everything you will ever do in social media.  Over-deliver value…this should be your mantra.  My core intent with this article is to provide you with real value.  If providing you will value ever turns into business for me, then that’s great…but my goal is to provide pure value for you.   I believe strongly in Universal Laws like the Law of Reciprocity…so I will consistently provide free content to add value to people’s lives.

Think about what you can give that other people want.  Think about how you can make other people’s lives better.  Think how you can help solve their challenges.  If you become THAT person for people…you’ll have more business than you can imagine.

3. Pimp Your Profile – If you are going to use Facebook for marketing…then think like a marketer.  Develop a message for your profile that is interesting, relevant and powerful.  If you are in a business like network marketing, then YOU are your brand.  Think about the talent and skills you bring to the world, think about your experience and results, think about the resources you provide and craft a compelling message that pulls all of that together.  Keep it simple, but make it powerful.

Facebook gives people a 360 glance into your world.  They can learn about you, your interests, your business, your family and your social circle.  For me, this is an important part of who I am…therefore I showcase it all.

#1 and #2 here in this list should be your guiding force behind developing #3 on this list.  Yes, stories sell…just make sure the stories you are telling are true.

4. Network – Think of Facebook as a massive global networking event.  There are people everywhere, hanging out in groups, discussing various topics and going to different events.  If you were at a live event like that and wanted to network, what would you do?

You would get off your butt and go meet people.  Well, it’s no different on Facebook.

Use the Facebook search feature to find things you are interested in.  Search for groups related to your niche and join them.  Make friends with people in those groups.  Get out there and mingle, connect and start building relationships.

5. Build Key Relationships – If Facebook is a massive global networking event then it makes sense that there are likely people in the room that you’d want to make sure you meet.  In Facebook’s case, there are thousands of those people throughout various niches.

Invest a little time doing some research and find out who some of the movers and shakers are in your niche or niches.  This may be a little tricky at first, but you’ll get the hang of it.  Don’t be fooled simply by large friends lists.

Social networking is all about creating dialogue.  Someone may have 3,000 friends, but check out their posts.  If their posts are landing on deaf ears (meaning no one is “liking” them and no one is commenting on them)…this person isn’t influential.  Essentially…they are on stage talking to a room of 3,000 people who are all sleeping in the audience.

Additionally, many savvy marketers focus far more on their groups and pages than their personal profile.  With a little effort, you can find some key people in your niche.  Invest your time to build relationships with these people first. (Hint: #1 and #2 are the keys to these people friend’ing you.)

6. Start Groups – Facebook has millions of groups covering millions of topics and areas of interest.  From a marketing perspective, why would you want to start a group?

The obvious reason is that you are targeting people with specific areas of interest to talk with on a consistent basis.  But the not so obvious reason is to preserve your social currency with your contacts and friends.  Just because someone becomes your Facebook friend doesn’t mean they want to hear all about your business all the time.  Inviting people to opt-in to a group will solve that issue.

• Group Rules: See tips 1-5.  Use each of these strategies when crafting your group.  Be real, provide tons of value before asking people to buy anything, craft your group page, photo and name to be enticing and relevant, try and partner with key influencers and communicate frequently.
• Most importantly though…make your group interesting to be a part of.  Share some real value.  Again…if you become THAT person…new business won’t be an issue.

7. Slow Down To Go Fast – In our world that is changing so rapidly, everyone wants things instantly.  I want it all and I want it now…this is true for so many people.  I can relate.   In my opinion, you would be best served to switch that philosophy to “I want it all and I want it to last forever.”

Thinking about your long-term strategy, brand and goals will greatly influence how you choose to participate in the world.  This is true in life as well as social media.

If you wanted to create a long-term relationship with a significant other, you likely wouldn’t be trying to meet people with the goal to see how fast you could get them to sleep with you.  You would take time to genuinely get to know them, find out what they are all about and look for ways you can support them.

How does this relate to growing your Facebook presence?

Simple.

When you request someone’s friendship, take a minute to go on their profile and learn something about them.  Do the same thing when someone requests your friendship.

Write EVERYONE a short, interesting note.  Remember, social networking is about creating dialogue.  Get the dialogue started right away.

Trust me, if you do this, you are differentiating yourself from 99% of the people on Facebook.  You are standing out from the crowd.

Build relationships and add value and the money will follow.

Other Advanced Strategies

8. Integrate With Other Platforms – If you have a website, a blog, a Twitter account, a YouTube account and/or any other social networking or web platform…make sure all of your accounts are talking to each other.  You want to make sure if someone finds your blog, they can easily link to your Facebook profile.

Put your social networking links everywhere you can and if you have a blog, put your blog url everywhere you can.  There are hundreds of social bookmarking sites and although you don’t need to focus on all of them, every time you create a profile on one and list your website, you are creating a backlink to your site.  The search engines love this.

Create some consistency within your brand.  If at all possible, make sure your make social media platforms all have the same account information.  Try to avoid being MaryJo on Facebook, SocialDiva on Twitter and PowerMarketing on YouTube.  Be you everywhere.  (Remember tip #1)

9. Add An Opt-In Box – You can do this to your profile and to a fan page (see #10).  This provides yet another opportunity for your Facebook friends to join your main mailing list.  If you aren’t building a list yet, you may think this doesn’t apply to you.  But honestly, if you aren’t building a list yet…what the heck are you wait for?  Get over to Aweber right now and get an account.

Moving social media connections to your main list should be one of your primary goals.  Once on your list, you can provide massive value in a very targeted way which will allow you the opportunity to really grow and anchor your relationships with the people who are attracted to you and your brand.

Just do a quick search on FB for Profile FBML on how to add an opt-in box to your profile page if you want me to walk you through the basics.  It’s really very easy and I have virtually zero web development experience and am not technical at all.

10. Start A Fan Page – As you get closer and closer to the 5,000 friend limit Facebook has, you will need another place to put people.  Honestly, if you know you are in this for the long haul, you should consider starting your fan page much, much sooner.

A fan page provides significantly more flexibility and essentially allows you to create your own website inside of Facebook.

If found this article online or on my blog, head over to my Fan Page to check it out.   If you haven’t yet, click “like” on my page (that’s Facebook’s new term for being a fan).

If you want a groovy custom design like mine, check out Brian Hanson at http://customtwit.com.  He absolutely rocks.

These are 10 really core principles and tips for enhancing your online brand and starting to do business through Facebook.  There really isn’t anything on this list that you shouldn’t be doing.  These are all fundamental…they aren’t options, they are necessities.

Let’s get working.  Game on!

For more strategies like these, join my mailing list.  Take action now.

I think I would just sit with you, Mom, not needing to do anything or be anywhere.
I think I would, at least for one of my five minutes, just hold your hands and stare into your eyes.
So I would make absolutely certain that I would remember that look only you could give me…forever.
If I had just five more minutes…

I would take the next one to thank you for everything,
For all the times you made my lunch, my dinner, my bed and my day.
For encouraging me when I needed it, for scolding me when I deserved it,
If I had just five more minutes…

I would take the next one to say I am sorry.
For putting you through hell when I was a teenager.
For all the nights I kept you worrying, praying and hoping that I was safe.

If I had just five more minutes…

I would take the next one to tell you all about your grand children.
These are three young souls that you would have really loved.
And even though you never met, they will forever know you because they know us.
If I had just five more minutes…

I would take my last one to let you know that Dad is okay.
It wasn’t easy for him but he has come through as you knew he would.
With a smile on his face, a glass of wine in his hand and love in his heart.
My time is up but I know I can find you whenever I choose.
You are right there when I need you.
I can feel you always.
There is rarely a day that I don’t think of you, miss you or want to tell you something.
When something cool happens, I still pick up the phone to call you.

What I wouldn’t give for just five more minutes.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

I love you.

“I wish for you an imperfect life,

and all the wonder that living can bring…

the wealth that comes from knowing loss,

the tears that find their way to laughter,

the joy that grows after the rain,

and the love, felt deepest,

by those who have been

carved by pain.

I hope that you can

value this imperfection, hold on to it,

so it gives you such comfort

that you will dare embrace the beauty

of all the imperfect lives that surround you,

And then you will be perfectly free

to step to the beat

of your own imperfect heart,

and you will have truly lived.”

Jodi Hills

7:23 pm is a time that I will now always remember.

January 30^th, 2005 is now a date I will cherish forever.

On that date, at that time, Brennan Zachary O’Brien decided to make his grand entrance to this world as my first son.

7:27 pm was the time my heart melted, my world stopped spinning and everything was in perfect alignment.

It was at that time that the nurses called me (my wife had to have a c-section) to come see Brennan for the first time.

He was wailing, I mean, really wailing.  At that point after what we went through in the previous hour, we were thrilled to hear him crying.

And cry he did; the kind that starts way down deep in the stomach, pierces your ears and is clear that he is letting everyone know that they should now be paying attention to him.

Then it happened.

I walked over and said, “Hey Brennan, it’s your Daddy.”

Immediately, he turned his head and looked directly at me and stopped crying.  His eyes peered into mine, finding familiarity in this ever so strange new world.

I lost my breath.

It was amazing, and truly one of the most thrilling experiences of my life.  The connection had begun – a family was formed.

My wife and I had had the opportunity to spend about two hours with our new son before he needed to go to the nursery for the battery of tests they do on infants.  Interestingly enough, the next time Brennan cried was when I had to hand him to the nurse for his tests

So I went with him to the nursery while friends stayed with Michele.  We didn’t want him out of our site.  Not that we were really worried someone would take him or that they would mix him up with other babies, but…he is really cute!

The tests are done and we swaddled him up for a nap and I am standing there, over his crib, looking around the nursery at all the babies.

It was a busy day at the hospital and there were at least 10 or 12 babies in the room.  For some reason, my mind started swirling and I began to think.

I began to think what it would be like if all the babies in the nursery could talk.  What if they were born with full vocabularies and a mastery of the English language?

I don’t exactly know why I started thinking along these lines, but there, in the euphoria of the first few hours of fatherhood, I had my Buckminster Fuller-like realization.

So I asked myself, what would there conversations be like?

If all of these brand new souls could immediate converse with each other – what would they say?

I envisioned a number of variations in my imagination about the babies describing the sensation of physically developing in the womb and if they had any memories of pre-conception and all sorts of other surreal, metaphysical, intellectual gymnastics, then my mind shifted.

And for a moment, I became sad.

I started thinking about the things they wouldn’t be talking about.

They wouldn’t be talking about war, hatred, violence, ignorance, racism, hypocrisy, gangs, jealousy, power-trips, revenge or murder.

They wouldn’t know these things.  They would have no experience of feeling insignificant or unworthy or less than.

They wouldn’t know shame or guilt or deception.

We learn these things.

We build them into our human condition by choice.

And yes, we do choose them.  Unfortunately.

In that moment, I no longer felt sad.

Choice.

We always have choice.

We choose whether or not we feel guilty or shamed or to use deception to whether we feel hatred or jealousy.

We choose whether or not to be ignorant or a racist or a hypocrite.

We choose whether or not to engage in violence, murders or wars.

And yes, we choose whether or not we feel insignificant and unworthy.

We have the wonderful ability to direct our thoughts and emotions in whichever way we’d like, regardless of circumstance.

It’s not always easy.  Sometimes it feels nearly impossible.

But ultimately, we always have choice.

It takes no more energy or effort to choose joy, passion, love, abundance, worthiness and happiness.

It’s still just a choice.

So thank you, Brennan, for reminding me of one of our greatest abilities – our ability to choose.

Having joint custody of my son Brennan has been an amazing experience.   I know I am a better Dad now than I was when I was married.  My attention is more focused, I get to spend more time with him and I believe my intention has shifted to one that is much more appreciative and grateful for the time I do get to have with him.

Brennan turns 5 in January and for those of you who have kids that have passed that age…it’s really a great time.  He is becoming a little man, getting more expressive everyday and going through shoes like nobody’s business.

The other day, Brennan really threw me for a loop.

It was our first day back together after 5 days with his Mom and we were getting ready for bed and I said, “I really missed you when you were gone.”

He quickly replied, “I didn’t miss you.  I don’t want to stay here.  I want to stay with Mommy and I don’t care if I ever come here again.”

Oomph.

It was like Mike Tyson hit me in the stomach.  Hard.

It really blindsided me and I was stunned, shocked and really hurt.

Brennan fell asleep shortly after and we didn’t have a lot of time to talk about it.  Honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered because when he is “in a mood,” there is no speaking to him.

Once Brennan was asleep it gave me some time to sit and reflect and fortunately I used the time well.

Even though I was torn up inside, I really came to a few conclusions:

His reaction wasn’t about me.

Let me say that it may very well have been a cry out for me to do/be something different for him now and in the future, but it wasn’t likely about something I did or didn’t do.

This one is really tough and takes a lot of discipline.  It’s easy to ignore a tantrum or over-reaction to something because personally, you are insulated.  If your child throws a fit about not getting their way, it’s easy to see where the reaction is coming from.  When it’s directed right at you, well now, that’s an entirely different experience, isn’t it?

I am working on staying detached from the emotion so that I can actually think.  If I would have let myself stay in that “poor me, why me, victimy” mindset, I would be stuck, unable to see possibility.

I made up that he was missing me, missing time with me, missing my attention and he acted out.  Sometimes after a few days with either of us, he gets into a groove and just wants to stay put.  I get it.  It’s not the reality we live in, but I get a 5-year-old wanting stability.  Hell, I want stability!

I had the opportunity to shift things immediately

Even though I know it wasn’t about me, it was about something, and that something was important to Brennan.  In the moments to follow, I had the opportunity to step up and provide real value in the face of his uncertainty and confused feelings.

As I said, my son is not an “in the moment” talker.  If he is upset, he will excuse himself to his room, collect himself and calm down, and then he can talk.  Not a moment before.

I decided that night that we would have a brief conversation in the morning, but agree that we would talk about things afterschool.  Now, I had a few business meetings in the afternoon and decide to shift my schedule to create space for some good Daddy/son time.

Did I have to do this?  Of course not.  What I have been a bad Dad if I didn’t?  Of course not.  But in that moment, what I felt was what Brennan needed most was some uninterrupted, focused time with his Dad.  I wanted to give him that.

I cancelled my meetings and took the afternoon off to play.

We had a blast.

He then told me exactly what I wanted to hear.

Brennan said, “I said those things because I missed you.  You are the best Daddy ever and I miss you when I am not here.”

Yeah, it was worth it.

This all took place in a span of less than 24 hours.

This was a fantastic reminder for me in what it takes to really be successful in relationship.   My 40” Jedi reminded me of the following:

• People own their emotions – they are not mine and I don’t have to take them on.
• Taking things personally is my choice.  So is having thick skin like a Rhino.
• I really need to be conscious and connected to what the people I care about are experiencing.
• Few things are permanent.  I can always work through feelings, emotions and upsets with those I am in relationship with.
• I get to step up and be the source of change.

Thank you, Jedi; you are indeed a wise one.   You are the most powerful mentor I have and something tells me you will always be.

Please share this with the single Moms and Dads you know and please comment here on this blog as to your thoughts.  Obviously, these lessons are about all relationships, not just the one I have with my son.