No, this isn’t about Og Mandino’s classic book.

It’s about my 5 yr old son, Brennan, and his talent for persuasiveness.

Many people talk about how they “aren’t a salesman” or a “salesy type person,” with great pride as if being in sales is a disease to get rid of.

The reality is, we are all in sales.  Some are just in denial.

If you are a teacher, you are constantly selling and reselling your students as to why it’s so important to learn, why each lesson is valuable and why they need to put their best effort in.

If you are a police officer, you are maneuvering for premium shifts, promotions and persuading people to follow your hunches and instincts.

If you are in a relationship…well, don’t even get me started.

If you are a parent, then your salesmanship is constantly being tested.

Unfortunately for us, we are out manned, out skilled and out worked by our kids.

Kids are naturals and my son is no exception.  He is relentless and doesn’t take no for an answer.

It’s 10:45 am and he has already asked me for a lolly pop 5 times.  5 times.

Did he get his feelings hurt when I said no the first 4 times?  Nope.

Did he take it personally? Not even a little.

Did he use other tactics like cute faces, pitched voices and the promise to “be my best friend?”  Of course he did, and he did it with style.

Did it matter to Brennan that I said no 5 times?  Absolutely not.  What mattered was what he wanted.  He was singularly focused.  He was intentional.  He was committed to getting what he wanted.

And you should be too.

We so often in life allow the circumstances of our world to impact our choices.  We react as opposed to respond.  We let temporary feedback throw us off course.

The surest way to get anything in this lifetime is to decide what it is you want, set a clear intention that you will attain it and go after it with passion until it’s yours.

Don’t stop until it’s yours or you decide you really don’t want it any more.  Awaken your inner 5 yr old incredibly powerful, always persuasive, wonderfully present little salesperson and get to work on accomplishing your goals and dreams.

Now, excuse me…I need to go deliver a lolly pop.  Brennan is riding his big wheel in the rain and being beautifully a kid.  He just shouted…”I want a lolly pop,” with a huge smile on his face.

Hey…just because I teach it, doesn’t mean I can resist it.  I think he wants a red one. (Don’t worry…it’s organic.)

“Daddy, I want a light saber.”

“Okay Brennan, I promise we can get one before we leave.”

This started at about 3pm while we were at Disney last weekend.  I heard it again at 4pm and again at 5pm.

We weren’t trying to deny Brennan of his trust light saber; we were just waiting until we were on our way out before buying one.  Honestly, we were afraid for the other patrons.

My son wielding a glowing weapon can do some damage.

As it got dark, we saw light sabers everywhere.  It was actually very cool looking.  Multi-colored sticks ripping through the air.  Kids on Dad’s shoulders were flailing them everywhere.

Towards the end of the day, we were moving pretty quickly from one ride to the other, trying to get another ride on Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain in.  My son, being 5, was exhausted after a long day.  In fact, in line for Space Mountain, he nearly fell asleep.

As I mentioned in my last post, he is just under the height for Space Mountain.  He got on the first time, but the last time they denied him.

He was so tired he didn’t care.

So here we are, running from amazing ride to amazing ride, Brennan is nearly asleep on my shoulder and as soon as we walk outside what do you think the first thing he said was?

“Daddy, I want a light saber!”

I’ve often said that my son is my greatest teacher and this is not different.  This is how life is.  We set a goal for ourselves and start working towards it but life doesn’t always just lie down for us.  We get focused on something and start working towards it.

Life has a way of setting up lots of distractions for us, in my opinion, as a way of seeing just how committed we are.  Some of these distractions are a ton of fun and valuable, like Thunder & Space Mountain and the Haunted Mansion.  Or in your daily world it may be more like TV, Facebook, exercise, reading, running to the store or playing a game (poker, Xbox, Wii, you name it).

Some distractions aren’t fun at all.  Health issues, relationship issues, drama of any kind, business & job challenges, real estates woes…life like to throw lots of curveballs.

There are lots of strategies for success in life, but one that I absolutely believe is paramount is having a focused commitment.  Once you get clear about what you want, set your sights on it, declare it to the Universe (in Brennan’s case this was me)…you need to stay completely focused in what you want until it’s yours.

We often get met with a little adversity and shrink.  We get distracted and loose focus.  We have people telling us we can’t and we believe them.

Very few things in life matter other than what you want and your commitment to getting it.

As you are setting up your week for yourself, figure out what your light saber is for the week.  Figure out that one thing that you absolutely must have or create.  What project will you complete?  What goal would you walk through fire to attain?

Get clear, get focused and stay committed so when you ask the Universe, “I want a light saber,” it will have little choice like me but to give it to you.

I’ve been divorced for about 14 months now.  There have been some good times and some tough ones.  That’s to be expected.  There are more of both to come and I am prepared for that.  That’s not just divorce…that’s just life.  It ebbs and flows.

Having joint custody of my son Brennan has been an amazing experience.   I know I am a better Dad now than I was when I was married.  My attention is more focused, I get to spend more time with him and I believe my intention has shifted to one that is much more appreciative and grateful for the time I do get to have with him.

Brennan turns 5 in January and for those of you who have kids that have passed that age…it’s really a great time.  He is becoming a little man, getting more expressive everyday and going through shoes like nobody’s business.

The other day, Brennan really threw me for a loop.

It was our first day back together after 5 days with his Mom and we were getting ready for bed and I said, “I really missed you when you were gone.”

He quickly replied, “I didn’t miss you.  I don’t want to stay here.  I want to stay with Mommy and I don’t care if I ever come here again.”

Oomph.

It was like Mike Tyson hit me in the stomach.  Hard.

It really blindsided me and I was stunned, shocked and really hurt.

Brennan fell asleep shortly after and we didn’t have a lot of time to talk about it.  Honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered because when he is “in a mood,” there is no speaking to him.

Once Brennan was asleep it gave me some time to sit and reflect and fortunately I used the time well.

Even though I was torn up inside, I really came to a few conclusions:

His reaction wasn’t about me.

Let me say that it may very well have been a cry out for me to do/be something different for him now and in the future, but it wasn’t likely about something I did or didn’t do.

This one is really tough and takes a lot of discipline.  It’s easy to ignore a tantrum or over-reaction to something because personally, you are insulated.  If your child throws a fit about not getting their way, it’s easy to see where the reaction is coming from.  When it’s directed right at you, well now, that’s an entirely different experience, isn’t it?

I am working on staying detached from the emotion so that I can actually think.  If I would have let myself stay in that “poor me, why me, victimy” mindset, I would be stuck, unable to see possibility.

I made up that he was missing me, missing time with me, missing my attention and he acted out.  Sometimes after a few days with either of us, he gets into a groove and just wants to stay put.  I get it.  It’s not the reality we live in, but I get a 5-year-old wanting stability.  Hell, I want stability!

I had the opportunity to shift things immediately

Even though I know it wasn’t about me, it was about something, and that something was important to Brennan.  In the moments to follow, I had the opportunity to step up and provide real value in the face of his uncertainty and confused feelings.

As I said, my son is not an “in the moment” talker.  If he is upset, he will excuse himself to his room, collect himself and calm down, and then he can talk.  Not a moment before.

I decided that night that we would have a brief conversation in the morning, but agree that we would talk about things afterschool.  Now, I had a few business meetings in the afternoon and decide to shift my schedule to create space for some good Daddy/son time.

Did I have to do this?  Of course not.  What I have been a bad Dad if I didn’t?  Of course not.  But in that moment, what I felt was what Brennan needed most was some uninterrupted, focused time with his Dad.  I wanted to give him that.

I cancelled my meetings and took the afternoon off to play.

We had a blast.

He then told me exactly what I wanted to hear.

Brennan said, “I said those things because I missed you.  You are the best Daddy ever and I miss you when I am not here.”

Yeah, it was worth it.

This all took place in a span of less than 24 hours.

This was a fantastic reminder for me in what it takes to really be successful in relationship.   My 40” Jedi reminded me of the following:

• People own their emotions – they are not mine and I don’t have to take them on.
• Taking things personally is my choice.  So is having thick skin like a Rhino.
• I really need to be conscious and connected to what the people I care about are experiencing.
• Few things are permanent.  I can always work through feelings, emotions and upsets with those I am in relationship with.
• I get to step up and be the source of change.

Thank you, Jedi; you are indeed a wise one.   You are the most powerful mentor I have and something tells me you will always be.

Please share this with the single Moms and Dads you know and please comment here on this blog as to your thoughts.  Obviously, these lessons are about all relationships, not just the one I have with my son.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Your life is your own creation.  It’s your game.  What rules are you playing by?  Are your belief systems about money, success, family and business serving you or getting in your way?

Enjoy this short video inspired by the Jedi himself.  Please share it with your networks and share your comments below.  People all over the world need to understand how to get out of their own way to create success.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Children are brilliantly in the present.  In many ways, they are fearless.  Fortunately, they have yet to be “trained” into being rational or thinking that they can’t do something.  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Can you connect with that fun, courageous, unlimited, powerful and FREE child within you and let go of self-limiting beliefs?

What is really fun about this video is that I didn’t say a word to my son before we started filming other than, “Brennan, we are going to make a video.”  His presence and comments are priceless!  Help make Brennan famous – share this post with your networks, retweet and please leave your comments below.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Do you trust your intuition or are you strictly dominated by left brain critical thought?  What can we learn from the 40 Inch Jedi (my son) about the power of honoring our feeling and trusting in our internal guidance system?

Enjoy this short video inspired by the greatest teacher I know.  Please make comments and share your thoughts.  Retweet and share with your networks.  Let’s support as many people as possible to begin to think about how powerful it is to tap into our inner guidance and intuition.

A good friend of mine recently shared this video with me.  I know it’s a few years old and it received some TV time, but it’s making another round on Facebook, as things tend to do.  It’s a simple, powerful video that highlights how our children learn and imitate our actions far more than our words.

Click here to view the embedded video.

This can be a sobering video or an empowering one depending on your perspective.  Sure it’s true kids imitate us, we see it every day.  We all know the statistics related to things like abuse, alcoholism and violence.  Much gathers more.  This is how nature works.

This video is a great reminder for me to get even more present to my vision for myself, my family and the world.  If I am not clear about it, then it isn’t clear and the likelihood of getting there is nearly non-existent.  I watched the video and wasn’t sad that the things that were happening.  Those sorts of things happen every day.  People litter.  They smoke.  They abuse animals, their spouses and their children.  It sucks, I get that.

But the action is the end result, not the cause.

What my mind raced to is how lost those people must be.  Sure, some of them might have some parts of their life together.  Hell, for some, they may seem to even have it all together.  But they’re lost.  They have no real vision.  If they did, how would their actions ever fit into their plans?  That’s a lesson I want to showcase to my son – vision drives performance.  Vision infuses our lives with meaning and power.  With vision, our choices become much easier.

Yes it’s true that our children follow our actions.  But they are the second ones to learn from our actions.  We are the first.

We may talk about something we truly want, but we learn by doing.  We learn and relearn our lessons through our experiences.  Are you teaching yourself the things you really want to be learning?

Do you talk a big game but then only take action on small parts of it?

Have you bought ‘hope’ but haven’t been disciplined enough to manifest your desires?

Our words are powerful, there is no denying that.  But our actions brand our lessons deep into our souls.  After all, our daily actions over time turn into our habits.  Our habits over time cultivate our lives.

It’s been said that character is who we are when no one is watching.

Perhaps if some were watching, if everyone had a coach observing their every thought, action and response…we would do so much better as a species.  I know for me when accountability is called into play, I step my game up.

Can we evolve to the point where being accountable to ourselves and our vision is enough to drive us forward?

Can we become powerful and committed enough to create a generation that is more motivated by a desire for joy than a desire to avoid pain?

If we can teach our children THAT…now that would be something.  That is a game worth playing.  Who is with me?

I often write about my son, Brennan, because honestly, just paying attention gives me such great copy. He changes so quickly that he is continuously providing me fresh, new content! Being with young children…really being with them…is an amazing experience in what it means to live authentically.

There are too many times to count that Brennan’s natural way of being reminds me of some grand lessons of life and the brilliance of being 100% in the moment of who you are. For your enjoyment, I’ve picked my top 9.7.

9.7 – Get excited about life.
Dive into experiences with energy and enthusiasm, as it is often this intention that creates our level of enjoyment and our results.

9 – Explore & Learn.
Take time to stare intensely at how a door opens and closes and what makes it work. Become intimately fascinated with new ideas, concepts, experiences and completely immerse yourself in the learning.

8 – Image isn’t everything.
Who cares if you have oatmeal or ketchup or sweet potato all over your face? Did it taste good? Absolutely!

7 – Make sure you get enough rest.
Sometimes there is nothing better than a power nap. Making time to recharge your batteries can pay huge dividends.

6 – Show your appreciation for the things you love.
Clap, smile, high five, laugh, be in JOY, giggle, squawk, scream…express yourself fully in appreciation for the people and experiences that support your growth and happiness.

5 – Get over it.
Hurt your foot? Who cares! It seemingly stops hurting if someone hands you your favorite toy. Be in your experiences, connect with them, learn from them and move on. Getting stuck in the drama of things in the past robs our ability
to connect with the present moment.

4 – Never take the relationship with your parents for granted.
My son is intimately connected to where I am, what I am doing and what mood I am in. I encourage you to look at how a toddler views his relationship with his parents, how important he feels they are to him and how much he values them…then answer those same three questions for yourself. Any difference?

3 – Believe in your ability to do things you have never done.
Take chances, risk, be bold, be courageous and strive forward with energy and optimism without giving a rat’s ass about what anyone else may think.

2 – If you aren’t getting what you want, stand up for yourself.
When a 4 year old isn’t happy, he’ll let you know. Now I am certainly not condoning how they go about conveying their message every time, but I applaud their commitment to their goals.

1 – Be FearLESS.
Walk around the edge of pools when you don’t know how to swim, play with light sockets, go down stairs at full speed, eat bugs, drink cold smoothies quickly and don’t worry about the brain freeze, walk up to stray dogs and jump off beds that are higher than you are tall. Seriously though, how many times do we let the fear of something stop us in our tracks, petrified by the outcome we make up in our own mind? Acknowledge your fears and go for it anyway!

Thank you, Brennan, may I repay you with the gift of teaching you as many things as you have taught me over your lifetime.

It was a lovely Saturday morning here at my house and my son, Brennan and I woke up fairly early and began to get ready for a fun weekend.  I walked into the bathroom and he was already in there getting ready to relieve his morning bladder.

Brennan is four, so the peeing stance still consists of his pants down around his knees, bare-assed in front of the toilet.  It still makes me laugh every time.  As he drops trough, he exclaims, “Wow, look how big my penis is!”

I looked.

He was right.

That four year old should be really happy about his progress!  Seriously, if this rate keeps up, he’s gonna have a monster!

Now, I’d like to say that this was an inherited trait, but I won’t go there.

It was fricken funny though, but what do you say to that?

I said, “It sure is, Brennan!”

What’s interesting about this and why I found it worthy to write about is that he said it simply matter of fact.  It wasn’t prideful.  He wasn’t bragging to me like he was in 7th grade prancing around the locker room naked because he was the first guy in this class to get pubic hair.

It was just a simple, honest observation that he said with joy, clarity and confidence.

It got me reflecting on how much this tends to change as we get older.  I am not talking about guys talking about the size of our dicks (I am not sure that ever changes)…I am talking about the ability to share with others with joy, clarity and confidence those things we honestly find wonderful about ourselves.

I think somewhere over time we learn how it’s improper to brag about ourselves and how it’s far better to be humble about our qualities and our accomplishments.

I think, in theory, the above statements are a good way to go, but I know at least for myself, they “taught” me many more lessons then were originally intended.

I “learned” to never really appreciate my accomplishments when I was growing up which caused me to have fantastic outer results in life while living through a ton of inner turmoil.

I think this has way more to do with other people’s reactions and perceptions that our own.   We shun praise & acknowledgment because of how it may make others feel.   We don’t want them to feel badly.

As Marianne Williamson wrote, “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so others won’t feel insecure around you.”

We have to get over ourselves.  It’s time to start genuinely feeling happiness and joy when others – friends or not – succeed and do well.

I just think it’s imperative if we want to move forward as a species.

I know it’s wrapped into our pysche…a component of Schadenfreude, if you will (The unexpected feeling of delight when observing the misery of others).

But to make any kind of shift, we must figure it out.

Look, I am all for capturing the experience of human suffering in art, culture, writing, music and the like as these forms of expression actually broaden our experience as human beings…but our obsession with it goes far beyond creative expression.

Schadenfreude is the basis of modern day media – our thirst to see other people’s misery.   We crave it.  We can’t get enough of it.

Well, I for one, have had enough.  I am not interested.  I choose to unplug.

Perhaps you will too and together we can move forward towards a new world…

A world where a man can scream, “Wow, look how big my penis is!”

And we are all genuinely happy for him.